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Wild Abandon

by Meghan Dowlen

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1.
The Circle 03:35
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The Circle goes round and it Goes back again The butterfly doesn’t Know what season it’s in Would you mind if I Sat down beside you? Would you mind if I Emulated you I want to know Where do we go He asks, “mother, do we stay in one place?” And I have to tell him about The circles we chase He wants to know Where did you go?
2.
MRI 03:32
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I float above my body Think of all the ways it could go The sounds of the machine Sounds like a movement to me Like a movement to me And I wonder if it does And I wonder if it does The doctors flirt above me And isn’t it kinda funny What part of me is it That finds these things funny That finds these things funny Here we float above And I wonder if it does And I wonder if it does
3.
Games 02:30
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I don’t wanna believe it’s true But I know it is I keep running 'round in circles, Looking the other way Mmm I keep playing around like it’s Some kinda game You keep me running 'round in circles, Looking the other way You keep me running 'round in circles, Looking the other way I don’t wanna believe that you could ever be this way I’m covering my eyes and Stumbling down Mmm The truth doesn’t go away It just gets brighter love You keep me running 'round in circles, Looking the other way You keep me running 'round in circles, Looking the other way
4.
Wild Abandon 02:57
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I tried to speak up, but I lost my voice I tried to tame my anger for the crowd I tried to be soft But it comes with a cost Cause someone like me ain’t welcome round here They say that even cowgirls get the blues And cowboys, they won’t try to wear your shoes You were hoping that I would Turn and walk away But you won’t catch me walking away -Whistling intermission- You wanna play this role with me, gunslinger You want to see me walk across nails I’ve tried to be tough But it’s never enough And other times it’s just too much I’ll bite through any scarf around my mouth And I’ll kiss before I throw it on the ground I might have no class But you can surely kiss my ass Cause someone like me ain’t welcome round here
5.
Do It All Over 02:56
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Don’t ever think You’ve got it down/figured out Start all over It’s new again It’s new again Do it all over (repeat) Always new, Always new my friend I’ve changed my ways Try to catch it In your hands It starts again
6.
Sadie 05:37
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She dances On the stage She will take You away But she doesn’t want to talk She says it with her eyes Sadie Talks to herself In the mirror Behind the stage She’s learned to love and to Take care Sadie’s Been through it all There are reasons For it all She tells me sometimes You just do You do what you must Sadie, won’t you Pick it up It will try to Pull you under You don’t have to Stick it out Wonder when it gets better Sadie, it’s over now Sadie, it’s over You don’t have to stick it out Sadie, it’s Over now You feel it In the air And it dances In her hair You cannot catch it You cannot own it Now she’s gone away, Faded in her state She has set it free This light shines on it Sadie, won’t you Pick it up Don’t let them Pull you under You don’t have to Stick it out Wonder when it gets better Sadie, you take it all Sadie, you took it all You don’t have to stick it out Sadie, it’s Over now
7.
Respectable 04:46
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Get my name out of your mouth You: What an inconvenience Cause I’m a good man I’ll show you what it means to be Professional I'll show you what it means to be Respectable I’ll show you what it means to be Consensual Respectable Respectable I’ll show you what it means to be Respectable Professional Respectable Cause I’m a good man A very nice man It could never happen They, they’ll never question Cause I’m a good man I’ll show you what it means to be Professional I'll show you what it means to be Consensual I’ll show you what it means to be Professional I’ll show you what it means to be Respectable (repeat 4x) Cause I’m a good man A very nice man Cause I’m a good, good, good, good, good man Good man I’ll show you what it means to be Professional I'll show you what it means to be Respectable I’ll show you what it means to be Professional I’ll show you what it means to be Consensual Consensual Respectable I’ll show you what it means to be Respectable Respectable I’ll show you what it means to be Respectable Professional Respectable
8.
Fantasy 03:13
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Tell me that you like it And throw it away Tell me that you need it And throw it away Tell me that you like it And throw it away I’ve got a new design I’ve got a new fantasy I’ve got a design I’ve got a new fantasy Tell me that it’s changing You’re changing your ways Tell me that it’s slipping Slipping away I’ve got a new design I’ve got a new fantasy I’ve got a design I’ve got a new fantasy
9.
Whistle 02:57
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I’d like to reach you I’d like to tell you You know I’d like to put it in the past It comes, it goes It goes It’s a thorn in my side Lost count of the tears I’ve cried And wouldn’t it be nice to move along? If I ever reach out If I get to tell you I would say we’ll put it in the past It ebbs, it flows It flows It comes, it goes
10.
Brambles 04:16
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Paid my way into the past Came a long way just to crash When what’s done is done is done I am just my father’s son I see you’ve still got your pride You’ve got yours and I’ve got mine Pull the thorn out of this side I’ll take it all with stride I don’t need apologies No, I don’t need your sorries I wish you so much better Cut the cord on this string Baby, baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, Baby, baby, baby, Cut the cord on this string See where the lines divide You pulled me along for the ride I’m running down the highway Cut the cord on this string Ooh, ooh Ba da da da da No, I don’t need your sorries Cut the cord on this string Ooh, ooh Ba da da da da Pullin out the thorns, pulling out the thorns in my side Pullin out the thorns, pulling out the thorns in my side Pullin out the thorns, pulling out the thorns in my side Pullin out the thorns, pulling out the thorns in my side
11.
Sadie (Reprise) 06:29
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It’s colder Don’t make me wait for you It’s getting darker Don’t make me wait for you You thought that it was Just a game that You could play with me But you forgot my Own desires My autonomy Let’s drop the cards I’ve been waiting In my mirror Where you left me there The fog is rising A blurry focus Of what used to be I know you said that You didn’t mean a thing It’s not how it’s meant to be Isn’t anything? I see your tears they Always fall between My breasts, again It’s how show me That you hear me Are you really there? Let’s drop the stories That we tend to hold so dear Will you show me Show me that you’re really here Come inside It’s darker Don’t make me wait for you It’s colder love Don’t make me wait for you Come inside Come inside

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Released on House of Joy Records + Slegg Creek Records

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released July 7, 2023

All songs written by Meghan Dowlen*
Artwork by Danielle Brutto

*Respectable co-written by Paul Guy Stevens

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Meghan Dowlen Atlanta, Georgia

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